I was standing by the water's edge
when they came to tell me they arrested him.
Off in the distance the Pharisees' lanterns trembled
& once again, this sudden panic -- what wives feel when their husbands are terminal.
When they came to tell me they arrested him,
I felt a monarch land on my shoulder
& once again, this sudden panic -- what wives feel when they are told their husbands are terminal.
I watched soldiers wrestle him to the ground
& the monarch on my shoulder fluttered, you will die as well.
I stood at the edge of the garden
as soldiers wrestled him to the ground.
It was then that I ran, following him to jail.
Because I was only a woman, I had to stand at the edge of the garden.
I knelt beside him & whispered, kiss me on the mouth
& in the jail where they incarcerated him
I said, I don't want to ever forget your penis inside me
so I knelt beside him & whispered, kiss me on the mouth.
He traced my face with his finger, you must learn to live by yourself.
But I didn't want to ever forget the feel of his penis inside me.
I think about arms outstretched on the crucifix.
He traces my face with his finger, remember the butterfly on your shoulder.
I feel it when they pierce his liver.
I see arms outstretched on the crucifix
& suddenly I can no longer remember his body inside me.
I feel it when they pierce his liver.
Off in the distance the sun sets
I can no longer remember the weight of his body.
I am standing by the river's edge.
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