by Loretta Diane Walker

I will no longer look at myself through your eyes;
you are the most calculating, unfeeling,
inconsiderate, self-centered lover I have known.

You plunge ahead, not waiting for me,
as though you are in charge of the future,
director— caretaker of my happiness
and it will not happen if you are not there.

Have you no shame?
I’ve bartered, compromised, cheated—
yes cheated, to get more of you.

Where do I fit in your life?
You treat me like all others;
even after I said how special you are!
I hear the desire, familiarity in their voices.
It makes me jealous hearing them droning;
they would do this or that with you.
Those things will make you a hostage;
I want to hold, cuddle you like new life.

Do you wear a crystal smile,
show your gold plated-teeth
or squeeze your oversized ego into an ebony hat,
sweep your hands as though you are offering the world
when you seduce lusting women?

Yesterday I watched you change like a chameleon,
flirt with—charm the sky until its big bright cheek
blushed into a million wagging tongues of light.

Now you blink at me with blood-shot eyes,
say—It’s 6:30 AM.
Oh, Time, my darling,
I will forgive all of your indiscretions—
flirting, wandering, arrogance
if you give me another hour with you
in the folds of these warm blue covers.

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