long ago, i tasted bile, like yesterday too at work i
could not stop grinding my teeth
i couldn't eat
briefly i smelled rain and my Indian dream came
the room darkened
night outside in the courtyard under wet trees
leaves stuck to her feet, leaves in her footprints;
emerging from shadow brown and white
black hair in her eyes and jasmine in the hot air
someone snapped fingers stinking with cologne under my nose
hey do you want the buffet?
no, people sneeze on it, touch it with shit under their nails, no thanks
no they don't, stupid, you don't have any nerve
i heard them talk about golf
an hour passed, slithered off my hands between my fingers
cold, oily drops in my lap
what? why aren't you eating? dig in, the boss's ass is ready
plump and nutty, on your knees,
elbow to elbow, come on, come here, wipe my cheeks
he who balks reaps the least
shouldn't we be naked always, greased and ready to wrestle
one hand coaching an erection, the other clamped over our bald spot,
whooping--
in their eyes my anonymity
regards me
death under glass
but sometimes the song changes when suddenly a voice whispers
so it's no longer noise but a dream
and the music stops
so it's only the voice, whispering-humming
out of breath
foreground to the soundless dream brightening then dimming
turning black
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