What We Talk About When We Talk About Sex
by Charles Rammelkamp



In the spam folder, an e-mail
from something called Purple Rhino
Risk Free Trial. Subject Line:
Have the Kind of Sex Your Friends Talk About.

I can only imagine what Purple Rhino imagines
my friends say about their sex lives.
They sure don’t say anything to me about it,
for which I’m basically grateful.

“Last night my wife and I ….”
“My husband loves it when I….”
Or maybe, “The neighbors came by the other night,
one thing led to another and before long
there we were, all six of us….”

I know Purple Rhino doesn’t imagine
anybody mentions, say, prostate surgery
that’s left him impotent, wearing a diaper,
peeing in his pants.

Or maybe that’s just the audience
Purple Rhino is trying to reach.






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